Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Book Review: The 13.5 Lives of Captain Bluebear

Still not working, I have spent a lot of my down time reading. Before leaving for DC I packed a recent acquisition with me, The 13.5 Lives of Captain Bluebear by Walter Moers. I had seen it in a used bookstore in Berkeley, CA, but the store was cash only and I had no cash on me. So i made a mental note of the book, and bought it online. Given the large amount of free time I have, even though it is roughly 700 pages, I have finished it.

As a side-note, reading for pleasure is such a welcome change. I don't know how long it has been since I have really read for pleasure, either due to time constraints or "reading burnout" from 90% of my out-of-class work being reading material. It is really nice to just read a great story. So I am grateful to this book for letting me rediscover the simple pleasure of just reading a story.

The Review:

The 13.5 Lives of Captain Bluebear is a novel written by German author Walter Moers. If I had to describe the book in one word, it would be: delightful. This novel is essentially a children's story for adults. I imagine that children would like it as well, but it also should appeal to any adults who still retain child-like wonder at a good story.

My copy of The 13.5 Lives of Captain Bluebear

Part fantasy, part adventure story, the novel tells the tale of Bluebear, a blue bear who lives on the mythical continent of Zamonia. It tells the story of the first half of his life -- or rather, the first 13.5 of his 27 lives as a Bluebear (as all Bluebears have 27 lives). A "life" in the story is essentially a chapter in the novel, each chapter describing a distinct time, in a distinct place, where Bluebear got into a distinct adventure. The reader follows Bluebear as he goes through all of these stages of the first 13.5 periods in his life, from adventure to adventure.

This is not a profound novel in the way that something by an author like Kafka or Cormac McCarthy is "profound." It does not to aspire to pretensions of being the next great work of literature. But in its own unassuming way, it is, because the author gives over completely to a world of uninhibited imagination. And he is able to do so through compelling storytelling such that the reader cares about the characters, even though they are wacky and fantastical, such as the blob-like alien Gelatine Prince Qwerty from the 2364th dimension. I have read a lot of books and novels and short stories; I tend to be kind of an at-arms-length reader, so I often don't get personally invested in (or react to) the characters any more than a standard reader would in order to enjoy the story. That being said, in all those stories and books, I have rarely had such a palpable dislike or outright hostility towards a character, than I had towards one of the main villains in the novel, a equally fantastical and not-at-all-real Trogolotroll. I think that the fact that the author can elicit such emotion and response from readers to characters who, by their basic external descriptions, are patently absurd, is a testament to the compelling strength and effectiveness of Moers' storytelling, plot and character development. The novel succeeds because while it maintains an almost childlike creativity in putting the world of Zamonia to paper, it manages to realistically convey experiences and emotional responses to those experiences that the adult reader would recognize from our own world. As a law student who spends her days in the mire of the very real reality of everyday life, of always looking at the world through the lens of the completely logical and sound, escaping to this world of gleeful non-logic and zaniness, was a welcome and much-needed break. As a law student or lawyer, you sometimes get moments where you can be creative (think of defenses like "the Twinkie defense"), but don't often get moments where you can imagine. I thank this book for allowing me to do so.

Other reviewers of the book (on Amazon.com) have said that the novel is stylistically and structurally similar to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and that if the reader enjoys Hitcherhiker's, he or she will enjoy Bluebear. Having never read Hitchhiker's, I cannot attest to the validity of this statement. But, I can say that if you are an adult who enjoys stories that celebrate imagination, that give over to the fun of storytelling, while all the while retaining something fundamentally and recognizably "human" in the experiences it relates, then you will enjoy this novel.

The novel is, as I said, a bit over 700 pages, but is actually a pretty quick read. The language is not complicated, and it is quick-paced. It is also interspersed with equally delightful illustrations of the characters and Zamonian landscape, which cuts down on the actual word-length of the novel.

Example of Moers' whimsical illustrations. From page 276

Overall, I would give the book 8.5/10.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

A Very Long Hiatus... also, Arizona

So, I realize it has been a long, long time since I posted. Like several months. Such is the life of the law student (yes, I am still here and still trekking through). I think that this blog is something I will have to do when I am on vacation and working during the summer (i.e. when I don't have a million things to do at 5pm when I get home from school). In theory, once I have a regular job and am a full-blown "real person" (oh happy day when that happens. seriously.), I can blog more regularly after work, like I did when I was in New York.

So here is the Sparknotes version of my life in the last 5 or 6 months:

Went through OCI. Got two callbacks, no job offers. Spent the next several months looks for a summer job. Lots of straight-up rejections, lot of interviews and then no offers. Went through a mini-crisis in January re: being a lawyer again (not as bad as last year) because I wasn't finding a job and started freaking out that I had made a terrible mistake and would never be employable.

Found a job -- and a good job -- at DOJ in Washington, D.C. for the summer. WIll be unpaid, but what it lacks in funding I hope it will make up for in putting fancy things on my CV. And no, I cannot blog about my work this summer. As with last summer, the information is confidential.

Finished my comment for law journal. Almost didn't. Due to confidence crisis (see above), I starting doubting my ability to do it, or whether it was even worth it. Plus, all the time I thought I would have during the fall was taken up with trying to find aforementioned job. Was late with the first draft (real late), but ended up sticking with it and got it turned in. Am glad I did. Don't think it will get published due to the lateness issue, but c'est la vie. In a weird way, though, I think blowing that first deadline epically was good for me. I tend to be a rather type-A, uptight person, particularly about things like time and deadlines. I think growing up, I put a lot of pressure on myself in those respects, more than someone my age should have. To quote Ferris Bueller's Day Off, if you had stuck a lump of coal up my ass, in two weeks you would have had a diamond. Not that riding the ragged edge of irresponsibility like I did is really something I want to (or plan to) do again, but I think letting myself fail and blow something important off -- and seeing that the world didn't end when I did -- was good for my mental health. But, as they say, once is enough.

Didn't go home for Christmas. Parents came to Chicago instead. Then went to Michigan to visit my dad's family for the actual holiday. For a variety of reasons I won't get into. It was fun, because I had never experienced the Christmas season in Chicago before. But it was a little weird. I have never not been in California for Christmas, and it means that when I go to my parents' house for Spring Break tomorrow, it will have been like 8 or 9 months since I was last there. I guess it is just another sign that I am "growed up" and making an adult life for myself. I was even discussing with my mother when and how I should start thinking about packing up my room in California. Weird.

That's pretty much it. I still don't know where I am going to be after I graduate, and since I didn't land an OCI job, I doubt I will for a while.

But, I am not going to worry about that now. Right now, I am sitting on a deck in a hotel room in Scottsdale, AZ., where I rendez-vous'd with my parents before we head back home. Do you have any idea what it is like to go from a place that is like 30 degrees, grey, with freezing rain, to a place that is 80 degrees at night and clear skies, in a few hours? I am like dying over here. On the other hand, sitting by the pool reading was nice, and something I haven't done for about a million years. And I forgot that weather in March can *not* suck. So there's that.

In parting, I am leaving the following youtube clip. I feel like it goes with some of the sentiment in this post. And, it's an awesome song. I will continue to post a few times in the next two weeks, and then it will probably be radio silence again until my job starts in May. So without further ado:

Suck it, Chicago

Monday, September 3, 2012

Dog Days of Chicago Summer

Well, today is Labor Day. Also known as, the last day of summer, since tomorrow school starts.

Even though I have been back in Chicago for almost a month, I really haven't been able to experience at least a part of summer in the city. Between OCI interviews and moving to the new apartment, I was pretty much really busy from the moment I got back. So I really didn't have time to enjoy what the city has to offer, unencumbered by obligations like homework.

So, today my boyfriend and I took advantage of the holiday, the nice weather, and the fact that we are finally really moved into the new place, to actually go out and *do* something.

First, we went to Best Buy, because my boyfriend has been bugging me for a year that our TV is too small (the current one is a 19" flat panel), so I finally caved as our birthdays are both coming up, and we got a new TV. Initially we were going to get a 32" flat panel, but my boyfriend was able to talk Best Buy into a good price for a floor model 39" flat panel. So there's that (I also really have to learn how to haggle. I don't know how he does it, but he is always able to talk people down prices. to me it just seems awkward. But what do I know. Are you even supposed to haggle for TV prices?). I admit it will make watching football more satisfying.

After we bought the TV, we went over to the Lincoln Park Zoo. Yes, you may notice a theme here: I like zoos and animals. And the Lincoln Park Zoo is the Chicago zoo, I had never been before, and it is my favorite price (particularly after this last month, which thanks to the move has been $$$$): FREE.

Again, rather than me natter on, I am just going to show you pictures of cute animals. Yay cute animals!

This I believe is a Lynx. From the Big Kitty house (not actually its name)

This was a jaguar. It, like all the other big cats, was pacing profusely. I am sure it was thinking, "If I get out of here, y'all are lunch"

Sleepy lioness. Probably tired because the male lions make the females do all the damn hunting :)

No, no I could not resist. IT WAS JUST SO PERFECT, OK?

Gorilla with his back to us

Some kind of Tamarin. I think. Or maybe a Gibbon?

I forget what it is called, but it is the monkey that looks like an old man. He he

Gorilla OMNOMNOM

Like the most zen chimp ever

More chimps. Not as zen

Kangaroo!

Vulture. These things are pretty much scary as shit, btw

Cheekeh Monkeh!

Some kind of very prim looking water foul

Giraffes are silly animals. They always look kind of confused...

So, a rhino doesn't *look* so scary from far away. Dunno if I would want to be in his way though

So, that was my day today. All in all, not a bad way to spent Labor Day. If you are interested in the Lincoln Park Zoo, more information can be found here. In September and October, the zoo is open from 10AM-5PM daily. November-March, the zoo is open 10AM to 4:30 PM. April-May the zoo is open from 10AM-5PM. Summer (Memorial Day-Labor Day) weekday hours are 10AM-5PM, weekends 10AM-6:30PM. Admission is free, although they do charge for parking if you bring a car.

Lastly, I have some photos I took when I first got back to the city, of the skyline at dusk. Was going to wait to post them until I posted pics of the new apartment, but that might take a while yet. Since is the last summer post, might as well post them now. Here's to Chicago.

And with that, another summer comes to a close, and a new school year begins. Now excuse me, but I actually have to go to homework.

Friday, August 3, 2012

It's the Beginning of the End

Today was my last day of my internship. Technically I am not done, because I need to finish a project (as it would be a shitty thing to just not finish something). But still, last official day of work. Turned in my security badge and all. Really kind of sad. I have enjoyed this summer, and have enjoyed being a "working girl." Much more fulfilling than being a student. In all, it was a great experience, and extremely eye-opening. I still can't believe some of the things I have seen, that people really act like the (we think--we would be wrong) exaggerated criminals we see on TV. I hope that one day this can be my life. Tiring, a lot of work, but fascinating. Particularly once you get into court, which happens a hell of a lot more often in the public sector than in private practice.

At any rate, I have to finish this project. I probably should have worked on it tonight, but I was just so tired from the week, and staying up late every night. Will work on it tomorrow, hopefully finish. Then I will have to decide what I want to do for the next few days, before I leave New York. Depending on the weather, I think I am going to try to hit Coney Island on Monday or Tuesday. I am a sucker for amusement parks, and it is a fairly big New York "thing" to do (incidentally, I went to Central Park over the weekend to go on the carnival rides, but upon closer look...they really are just kind of kiddie rides. I am more of a throw-em-up-spin-em-around kind of gal, so it didn't really cut it and I didn't go on. Rather disappointing). I may also try to hit up the Bronx Zoo and the Aquarium...but I am kind of terrified of the Bronx. Although, given what has been going on in Chicago lately (namely, violent "flash mobs" of ghetto kids beating up on people in the tourist areas), maybe the Bronx is safer. Except not really.

I got my On-campus interview schedule today. For those of you not in the legal field, OCI is an annual ritual that all rising 2Ls go through before the start of the year, to determine if they will be going to work at a "Biglaw" firm in the summer after their second year (and, assuming a job well done, an offer for permanent employment upon graduation and successful completion of the Bar exam). I exclusively applied to firms in New York and Washington, DC. Which lead to an interesting conversation with my boyfriend. Jesus this thing is basically Sorority Rush, except with suits and not cocktail dresses. As per NALP guidelines (don't ask), I don't think I can (and really shouldn't anyway) go into details at this stage; suffice it to say that there are several days of going to multiple 20-minute interviews with representatives of the different organizations. Which is also basically the definition of sorority rush, at least at Northwestern. Well, at least I have good practice.

Man, I can't believe it is only a few more days. Sad. I really like New York; I am sad to see it go. I am sad to see myself go. I will be updating the blog about my final days in the Big Apple. I will also blog (probably tomorrow) about what I did last weekend; was going to tonight, but too tired.

Anyway, in tribute to the fun (and sometimes challenging), and ultimately rewarding times this city has given me over the last couple months, here is a YouTube video of Empire State of Mind. I listened to this song when I found out I would be in NYC for the summer, so it seems fitting for the twilight of my time here. Enjoy.

I also need to locate a shipping box, packing tape, and some packing padding. I bought some stuff while I was here, but considering I was already maxed out on my weight limits flying out here, will need to send things ahead to Chicago. Plus, I am not sure I could physically fit anymore into what was already in my suitcases. Here's to hoping there is a UPS store or something.

And finally, some random thoughts I had today, that I thought were interesting enough to share:

First, some professor at U.C. Riverside is getting five million dollars to study ("scientifically") if there is life after death. Uh, pretty sure you can't really prove that one there, Skipper (in a factual sense, not talking faith here people). Unless this guy knows something we don't, we don't even have the technology it would take to cross whatever physical and temporal dimensions stand between our life and eternity, if such an eternity or afterlife even exists. Sylvia Brown's contentions aside, there is no real way for us to access the "other side" without croaking ourselves, at which point it would then be impossible to furnish physical (non-ghost-like, which doesn't last anyway) evidence of such an existence to the living. Aka, it's impossible. I am all for humanities getting funding (because it *all* goes towards like, pharma research), but couldn't it go towards something more realistically obtainable?

Second, (and this is real random-- thought of it while I was reading an article about STDs. Don't ask. And no, I don't have any) but have you ever noticed that a disproportionate number of creative geniuses (or "geniuses" in other, non-IQ type ways) back in the day had syphillis? I'm serious. There is a lot of scholarly research that while perhaps already gifted, people like Van Gogh and Beethoven reached the height of their genius while under the peak influence of syphillis' influence. Right before they descended into madness and death. If guaranteed to produce the next Ode to Joy as a side effect of the illness's brain-screwing, would someone willingly get syphillis? Despite people's probable initial reaction of "hell-to-the-damn-no," I don't think it is necessarily as obvious a "no" as people might first think. While somewhat extreme, what's the old saying, "it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years?" Not that I want to run out and get a nasty STD, but it does make you think. Creating a lasting piece of genius, or changing the world, is -- so far as we know anyway-- the only real way to achieve any kind of immortality. Making your mark lets an individual "live on" by having a place in the world's collective memory. Look at the ancient Egyptian pharaohs: they built those tombs now on display for all the world to see, and underwent elaborate burial practices so that they could forever live on after death in a new world. And through our knowledge and study of them through the elaborate and intentionally-preserved artificats they left behind, in a way, they have.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Quick shout-out

To my loyal readers (if any of you still exist):

I know, I know. I have been super lame about updating this blog in the last week. I got unexpectedly busy with a huge final project at work, so have gone into hibernation mode. Tomorrow is my last day, though, so this weekend and into next week I should have lots of updates about this week, and things I do in the next few days, as my time will be spent doing last-minute exploring of the city. So I have not disappeared, or died, or gotten sick of this blog. Never fear!

Incidentally, in light of my having given up Facebook, I now have a LinkedIn account (Facebook's more respectable, well-behaved cousin), and a Twitter (what can I say? I need outlets for my random thoughts. And I am a busy-body about what other people are doing). For privacy reasons, I am not giving out my LinkedIn account, but if you so choose, you can find me on Twitter under @tootiefruitie52.

Anyway, back to regular updates soon. For your patience, here is a cool photo of the arch at Washington Square that I took while waiting for a cab (which took *way* too long to hail. This is New York; the place is lousy with cabs. It should not take more than five minutes to find an empty cab):

Washington Square is pretty impressive when lit up at night

Also, I cannot believe that I leave New York in less than a week... So the great adventure is winding down.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Razzle Dazzle 'Em

I have new respect for people who work full time jobs, and still are the primary caretaker of the home front. Particularly singles. I usually get done with work around 5:30 or 6:00pm, and proceed to get dinner. Which means I am usually home between 7:30-8:00pm. And yet I still often have things to do, like laundry, or dry cleaning, or apartment hunting, or OCI info gathering, or going to the store. Yes, there are the weekends, but I find those get real busy, real fast. Like today, I finally picked up some repairs I had left at the cleaners... almost two weeks after it was ready. Just because I have gotten busy. So I respect that people do this every day, squeezing in the mundane of life in the after-work hours. But, I still like this better than school and homework. As much as I have errands and things to run after work, in the end, I am still free to do whatever, to get those things done as needed, on my schedule, and just have my "me" personal life, without worrying about homework on top of the several hours I have already spent in school. Alas.

This week is a strange week, because the Fourth of July strikes on Wednesday, in the middle of the week. So we have this random day off (not complaining, of course), but it's just kind of awkward, because you can't really make a weekend out of it, can't really justify like a three-day weekend. It's just kind of there, to oddly cut up the the week. So I think going into the week, everyone at work kind of senses this is a weird week, and it doesn't seem to be as much, business as usual. So, this is why I did not feel guilty not really doing work today, instead watching the closing arguments of both the government and the defense in this crazy mafia case that started about 3 weeks ago. I had seen the government's examination of its star witness on the stand, but hadn't seen anything else, as my work comes first, and I had had an intense and busy two weeks. But I really wanted to see the end, especially since I had heard from other interns who had seen more of the trial, that the defense attorney was something else. And oh boy, was he something else. I don't think I can really describe it; instead, the following clip from the movie-musical Chicago does a pretty accurate rendition of today in court:

Richard Gere as criminal defense attorney Billy Flynn in Chicago, copyright Miramax, 2002.

Yeah. That was pretty much it. The defense attorney was certainly charismatic and emphatic, getting up and walking around, walking towards the jury, at times being almost conversational with them. There really is a certain type of art to effective oral argument, at least if you are on the defense side. But, he spent a lot of time distracting from the main crux of the government's case: namely, the facts. He spent a lot of time trying to impeach the credibility of the government's star witness, who admittedly is not a good or very redeemed person, and upon whom the government rested probably 80% of its case. And he spent also a lot of time trying to impeach the whole process taken by the government-- riding the ragged edge of insinuating prosecutorial misconduct, and trying to rile the jury up about the spending ("wasting") of "their tax dollars" on this "sham" and "disgrace" of a case. He did this with a lot of catchy sound bytes (my personal favorite was his claim that the government was going after his client because he did not join "Team America" and roll over on other guys in the Mafia), and with some information or allegations, that may or may not have actually been in the real trial record (I don't know, as I didn't see the whole case, but that was the jist of a lot of the prosecution's rebuttal). What he didn't spend a lot of time doing, was picking apart the actual content of the evidence against his client. Because while there definitely was heavy reliance on the testimony of this one star witness, and a few other cooperators, there also were recorded conversations from "bugged" individuals and places, that were pretty incriminating. Oh, he picked apart the context of the the conversations, he attacked the fact that they were edited, suggesting that the government "strategically cut" parts of the testimony, to make it look like his client talked about something, or people were talking about his client in a certain way, when if fact it was something totally different. But he didn't really get into what was actually said, trying to pick *that* apart and discredit the actual information. He did that in one instance kind of thoroughly, but it wasn't an instance going to the most serious or damning of the charges, and he didn't really do anything more with it. He kind of relied on a lot of tangents and allegations, and conjectures about both his client and the witnesses. On an emotional level, it was very effective. But, I don't know, in my very inexperienced opinion, I think my strategy would be to, as much as possible "go for the throat," and try to dismantle, piece-by-piece, the content of whatever evidence was presented against my client. But that is just me, and I guess you fight with the troops you got, or, in this case, with the case you got, to squeeze someone through the door of reasonable doubt. As the movie said, "how can they [the jury/tier of fact] see with sequins in their eyes?" It will remain to be seen how effectively the attorney's conjectures and emotional appeals go over with the jury.

Either way, it is back to the regular work for me tomorrow. Since I spent all day in court today, I really go to book it.

This weekend was really nice. I headed out of the city again, this time to see some family on my Dad's side (my aunt and my cousin, who is about 2 years younger than me). They are really cool people-- very artsy; in fact, I have linked to my cousin's blog on this blog page, so you should totally check it out. They do really good pottery, as well as paintings and drawings. My cousin also makes cool jewelry and wares like aprons. I even got a piece done by my cousin to take back with me and hang in my apartment in Chicago (wherever that happens to be; after a year of listening to construction, I finally decided my boyfriend and I need to move to a quieter (and cheaper) part of town). And they are generally chill people. They live in Princeton, NJ, so I headed out there on Saturday morning, as it is really only an hour away by train. They took me to lunch in Princeton, so I finally got to see at least the periphery of the famous Ivy League school, if not the actual campus. Princeton is basically your typical college town, although a bit more up-scale, with a lot of quasi-expensive restaurants and like, boutique, bougie stores. We also drove by Princeton Plainsboro Hospital, of House fame. Not going to lie: I was geeking a just a little. I kind of stopped watching the show because, law school. It was also getting kind of soap-opera-ish. But, I am always a fan of Hugh Laurie's snark. Not going to lie: I had a bit of a TV crush on Doctor House during the time when I was a regular watcher of the show.

Then we headed into New Hope, PA, a little town right over the NJ-PA border. As a side note, the concept of being able to go between multiple states in a matter of a few hours, is a concept I have only just recently fully wrapped my head around. As someone who grew up in California, where the nearest state border was about 5.5 hours away by car, the whole small-ness and easy-access of states on the East Coast, was something that really blew my mind. So, three states in one day. Not bad. And New Hope was cool. It was an example of why I love the East Coast: many of the buildings were pretty old and colonial, some probably dating from the mid-1800s or earlier. As a confessed history geek, things like this just fascinate and excite me, and I am also just generally into older-style, Colonial or Victorian architecture. And in California, it being a relatively new state, and relatively new to mass-development, you just don't get it. There isn't all that much that is "old," that is still usable. Sure, there are things dating from around the Gold Rush, but honestly those are usually relegated to re-enactment towns where elementary school kids go on their 4th grade "let's learn about California history" field trips. Other than in San Francisco, you really don't get the same kind of impressive, really objectively historical and old types of buildings, that are still functional.

Anyway, New Hope was fun. It's kind of a hippy town, although it is starting to get a bit more upscale. It had a lot of independent stores selling original art-- not the mass-produced stuff you see in like a Target, but either originals by the store purveyor his or her self, or original works by local artists. Some of the stores even branched out beyond that, and featured international or international-inspired work. One store dealt in handcrafted art from Mexico, another in Celtic/Irish (and, somewhat randomly, Spanish) art, and another in Native American art. There were also the requisite Tye-Dye and Vintage Stores. And, generally speaking, much of the stuff was pretty reasonably priced (also, I love you, anywhere that isn't California-Chicago-NYC. Namely, I love the fact that sales tax was 6%). I even got a cool mirror (for the reasonable price of $40) that has a wrought-iron vine/leaf border around the glass. Assuming I can get it to Chicago in one piece, it will make a very cool addition to my new apartment. And, my aunt and I even got our fortunes read. My cousin had recommended this lady as a palm reader-- I guess she and one of her friends had come in to the town before, and had theirs done, and were impressed. I have to say, I was more impressed by her reading of my aunt's palm than mine, but it was entertaining nonetheless. The last time I had had my palm read (or it might have been Tarot, I honestly don't remember), was when I was like 13, at the Renaissance Faire in Casa de Fruita, CA. So I guess it was time.:0)

I really enjoyed hanging out with my family, particularly since they are people that, being on the opposite coast from me, I never really saw all the much growing up. But now I see at least my cousin more frequently, because she is at the University of Michigan, and I go to Michigan from Chicago fairly frequently. I think I have seen my cousin more times in the last 4 or so years, than in the previous 10-15 years combined. It is nice to be closer to that side of the family, because they weren't as much of a presence in my life as my mom's side, who pretty much all live within a one-hour radius of each other in California. And the distance and lack of regularity in seeing my other family, has always been something I have regretted from my childhood. Nothing could be done, obviously, because people were where they were, but it still was kind of a lack in my family life.

See, I am capable of having normal, not angry or angsty posts. I swear I am more balanced than perhaps the "angry bitch post" suggests. I hope you liked the added bit of "flare" of the video! Anyway, to my loyal readers, until next time.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Not-so-Part-Two: Another Week in NYC

So... apparently I didn't ever finish part two of my "part one" from last weekend's post. Unfortunately, I got hit with a project at work that I didn't know was going to turn into War and Peace, so that sucked my life for a week. Luckily I was so busy this week that I didn't do much, so I can fit a week's worth of stuff into one post without it being ridiculous.

When I last left my narrative, I was about to go to Connecticut. So yes, Connecticut. My boyfriend is from Connecticut, and was able to find a cheap rate on Spirit Airways to come out for Father's Day. So even though he had already been in Chicago for a week, he flew back out and met me in New York on that Friday. He actually met me at like 10:30p.m. in Brooklyn, because a friend of his was jazz singing in a cafe/bar/lounge in Park Slope.

Anyway, that Saturday morning we took the Greyhound bus from Times Square to Hartford. Also: I didn't know buses were such a thing. Maybe it is because I am from California, and other than Los Angeles, Santa Barbara or San Diego, there really aren't major "hubs" people will be traveling to within the same state. But Greyhound-- or long-distance bus travel in general-- is definitely not as much of a thing as it is here on the East Coast, apparently. Like, the Port Authority bus terminal in Manhattan is the size of a small airport. Like, I am pretty sure it might be bigger-- square footage as well as the number of vehicles serviced-- than the Harrisburg, PA or Boise, ID airports (yes, for a variety of reasons, I have actually flown in and out of those airports. On multiple occasions).

It was nice to meet up and hang out with my boyfriend's family. They are a lot like my dad's side of the family in that there are a lot of them, and whenever there is an event (and having the kids come home to visit qualifies as an event), they all get together in one place. The first day (Saturday) I was there, we basically hung out. Went to this burger joint that, for context for all you Chicago dwellers our there, is kind of like Epic Burger. Except they had better shakes. And then that evening we went to the aforementioned dinner/cookout with the boyfriend's family. On Sunday, I went with my boyfriend's mom and kid sister (she's nine-- which is kind of scary for me because when I first met her, she had just barely turned five) to watch the boyfriend sing in a showcase. When he was in high school, he was part of this program that gives scholarships to students, so that they can take very intensive lessons in singing. Over the 2-3 years of the program, the student's get something like $25K worth of lessons and training; the students have to try out to get in, and every "class" is only like 5 or 6 people. So it's kind of a big deal. And I guess (not surprisingly) at the "end" of the year (by school counting), the current students put on a showcase of songs. This year was their 10th anniversary, so as a special thing, they invited all the alumni back to sing in the final two numbers-- one on their own, one with the current students. It was really nice because, other than just generally being quality music, this was something I had heard a lot about from my boyfriend, and that I knew was and is an important part of his life. So it was nice that I actually got to share in it with him a little.

He also knows a lot of the people running the program (I guess not surprisingly, since the program is so small), so I actually (briefly) met some of those people as well. The craziest thing I saw at the reception, however, was this: One of the ladies in charge of the program had her mother there. The lady-- not the mother-- is probably in her late 70s. Apparently her mother is 99 years old (and, actually looked "spry"-- I would have placed her in her late 80s). For context (as I pointed out to my boyfriend at the time): when this woman was born, World War I hadn't happened yet. Can you imagine what this lady must have seen in her life? The kind of memories she must have? And how much of a mind-fuck it must be to live in this day and age, being so different from anything she would have known when she was a child/teen/young adult? How can one even deal with that? I am of two minds about living that old (if, of course, I still basically have my wits about me. Otherwise, forget it). On the one hand, I think it would be fascinating to have lived through the 20th century, to see the kind of change and world-events that she could have seen. To be a "memory-keeper" of sorts of the past. In other ways, I think it would be profoundly depressing. Other than her daughter and any possible grandkids, everyone she ever knew or loved I am sure have long passed on. Any husband, siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, friends, associates. And the world in which she would have been most active-- when she was young, through perhaps her 60s or 70s-- has also long passed on. She would have just come into the world as a young adult in the early 1930s. Think about that. In a way, it is quite poignant. But then, I always found movies about people who live forever, like Tuck Everlasting or Interview with a Vampire, bittersweet, more than scary or love-storyish or whatever was the main intention of the moviemakers. Because I always think about things like that-- what would be lost, what would be gained in living so long, and I find it kind of sad, in a way.

Anyway, I returned on Sunday evening. And didn't do much the whole week except work on this project. It was quite interesting, but sucked my life as I had to go through like 10lbs worth of trial records, in addition to about 75 cases (culled from an initial list of like 150). The brief section I wrote ended up being like 15 pages. But it is gratifying to know that the work I am doing is actually going to be meaningful-- in this case, helping to keep someone who should be in jail, stay in jail. A nice change from the "meaning" being grades/GPA, which I am finding to be increasingly not meaningful, and as such am having increasingly less patience with it.

On Tuesday the boyfriend swung back into New York for the evening, as his flight was at like 8:30am on Wednesday, out of LaGuardia, and understandably did not want to get up at like 3am to come into the city from Connecticut. We ended up meeting his friend again (the jazz singer) at this very chic bar/lounge on Park Avenue near Grand Central Station. I had dressed up because I knew that this place was going to be a classy joint. And it was. To the tune of $15 drinks and $7 tea. But it was an experience. The friend actually wasn't singing-- it was a friend of hers that had gotten the gig to sing at the place, and she had come out to support her. Since the boyfriend and I wanted to have some time to actually talk to his friend (the last two times-- at a house party and a gig in which she was singing-- were not really conducive to hanging out and chatting), we decided to go along. We were there for probably like two hours. And it was really one of those few moments that I felt "like an adult," as I am apparently now considered (I will be 24 in a couple months. No pretending like I could at 21 or 22-- this is real "twenties-something" territory. Which scares the hell out of me). I don't know; I feel like growing up-- particularly as part of the generation that grew up with Friends, Sex and the City, and the tail end of Seinfeld, we were all given these expectations about what being a young adult would be like: living in a cute apartment in some big city, getting together with regular friends after work at what my friend Kathryn has dubbed a "sitcom bar," just hanging out, and "being adults," with a variety of mostly minor social life dramas. But, for a variety of reasons-- particularly "reality"-- that is not what being a twenties-something is like. There is a lot more uncertainty about your life. Your drama isn't about your latest breakup or fling, so much as it is about, "holy shit what am I going to do with my life," or "I am doing something I don't like, but don't know how or where to change." Everyone I know who is is their early-mid twenties are experiencing one or both of those problems. For me, I still feel not really like an adult, even though I now go to a "job" (internship) every day, and have a (surprising) amount of responsibility in the work I do. I am still a student, I am still living for the most part off the graces of my parents and the federal government, so I don't feel very "grown up." So being at this trendy bar, in New York, listening to live music and drinking expensive drinks, I felt like I was finally experiencing what "being an adult" was always shown to mean. I felt like I was actually living the perception I had always had about what people do when they are "grown up."

Nothing really interesting happened the rest of the week. I worked on the project. I got a massage on Friday courtesy of Groupon, at a spa conveniently located a five-minute walk from the dining hall in which I eat dinner on week nights. It was quite relaxing, and much needed, and after the hour treatment, I could finally move things like my back and shoulders without hearing/feeling the joints pop. Unfortunately, the effects of this massage were short-lived. I had hauled with me the aforementioned 10lbs of trial materials in my briefcase bag, knowing I would have to work on this project over the weekend. Naturally, I got lost on the way back to my dorm (not really lost; just couldn't find the subway entrance. As a side note: Greenwich Village, wtf? Y u no make directional sense?). So after like 40 minutes of that, my shoulders were back to being pretty tense. Guess I will have to treat myself to another next month. :0)

Saturday I didn't do much, at all. I didn't even get up until 12:30pm (I think having pulled a lot of late nights the prior week to get shit done, really took a toll which my body was then trying to make up on the weekend). And then I spent most of the day *still* working on the brief. Since the internet at work sucks, I had spent most of the week just trying to read and note and create reference points in all the case law and trial material, so I didn't really even get to writing the thing until Friday. But, since it was the weekend, and since I am determined to not waste my time in NYC (I can sit in my room and do work at home, back in Chicago. If I am out here, I should do something). So, I did go out around 6:30pm to Chelsea Market, which is an interesting combination between like a food marketplace, and a food court. Chelsea, apparently, is a very trendy and high-class neighborhood of NYC (as I could tell from the stores, clubs, and apartment buildings I was passing by. Out of my price range for now, I am afraid), and Chelsea Market is probably one of the more upscale food markets/courts you will find. It's in an old factory of some sort that hsd been rehabbed and yuppified on the inside. I have to say, though, the food was good at the little restaurant I went to. Another, more minor moment, of feeling like a "real"young twenties-something. It definitely seemed like the kind of place a group of trendy young adult friends would go out to on the weekend for a more "casual" evening. I enjoyed.

On Sunday, I again didn't get going very early. I got myself up around noon, because I had a 1pm boat to catch from Battery Park, which would take me to Ellis Island. So I got another thing off my NYC bucket list, yay! Although my ticket would have allowed for it, I didn't get off at the Statute of Liberty Island. You can't climb up to the very top any more because of security, and I think even the base is closed for rehab. So all people were doing, was milling around the outside of the base, looking up and taking pictures. Frankly, I got a better view from a bit further back, on the boat, while we docked and waited for people to get off at the island/get on the boat.

Ellis Island was cool. You can tell that they put a lot of work into rehabbing the building-- it looks really good for being like 125 years old. Initially, I was going to try to make an appointment to look up family records-- you have to do that ahead of time-- since my mom's great-grandfather's family came over from Norway in the 1870s, and came through New York before heading out to Chicago (how things come full circle, no?). But, apparently Ellis Island wasn't a thing until 1892, so my family would have actually come through a port in lower Manhattan (now the site of Battery Park). And anyway, any records that may have existed, probably got burned up. Apparently, a couple years after the *first*, wooden Ellis Island building opened, the whole thing went up in flames, taking most of the immigration records going back to the 1850s with it. Alas. And on my dad's side-- hell, we have been in this country for freaking generations. We are about as old as the country itself. For example, one branch of the family tree apparently owned a plantation in Maryland, and a few years after Americans were like, "England? Eh, not so much," sold the land to the Federal Government to create what is now the Naval Academy at Annapolis. In conclusion: no, no we did not come through Ellis Island. Also, I feel like the fact that part of my family like sold/gave the government the land to create a military academy, should entitle me to some kind of tax break. One can dream...

Ellis Island is basically a museum inside the old port-of-call and inspection rooms. It chronicles the peopling of North America/ the United States from about the 1500s until the 1920s. It was actually quite interesting, and I always enjoy looking at old photos of people, and hearing/seeing first person accounts from the past. But then I am a history nerd. The one thing that miffed me about the earlier section (immigration from 1500 until 1892), was that the exhibit seemed like it was trying too hard to be "fair and balanced" in regards to specifically the plight of the Indians/Native Americans, to the point that it was borderline (dare I say it?) anti-American. I am not stupid or naive enough to think the founding of America was all sunshine and roses, but the adjectives/tones used in regards to actions taken by settlers/the U.S. government, versus that taken with regards to Indian raids and wars, were much more negative or condemning. I am for telling history like it is, and as fashionable as the "oh the horrible settlers/the poor indians" mindset is these days, I don't think taking "sides" is good history study. Both had a lot of good, and a lot of not-so-good, on each side. The history and motivations of settlement versus native rights is complex, and I personally think it is not an issue of one being more or less "right" or "good" than the other. If you are going to tell history, tell it straight. Tell the good and the bad for both, but don't try to up-play the evils of one, and downplay that of of the other, to score some kind of political points. At least as much as possible. Ok. Rant over.

The most interesting section of the museum-- at least for me-- was the stuff detailing immigration from 1892 until the mid-1920s; basically, immigration during the Ellis Island period. It was the coolest because it came at the time when immigration became a much more regulated and regular thing. So there were things like passports, and boat ledgers, and certificates of citizenship or naturalization. It was fascinating to see in the ledgers where people where coming from, but more so when you realize that you are looking at the very writing of real people, taking down the information of real immigrants to this country. I feel like history can get quite rarified and abstracted, so it is really affecting-- at least to me-- when things like this create reminders that behind the stories, and the even the photos, that there were real flesh-and-blood people involved. For the same reason, I thought the room full of old passports showing the pictures and information of people from all over the world, a hundred years ago, was quite amazing. And I learned quite a lot about what groups of people came over, when and why. Like, I always knew that the Irish and Italians were a big group, as well as the Chinese in California. But I had no idea that Sweden was another country from whence a lot of people came over. I mean, I knew the midwest was a mecca for Scandinavians, but I always thought it was kind of an even hodgepodge. Not so. Domination by the Swedes, for sure. Also, side note on the pictures they had of the conditions/tenements recent immigrants lived in, at least in NYC: dude, what a shithole.

So, that was basically my week/weekend. Today I went to work (a little later than usual, since I had been up until 2:30am in the morning finally finishing that brief project. And I felt *so* much more relaxed now that it is off my plate for while. I was handed a document review project for the day (basically, proofing/copy editing of a brief before it goes to a court). It was on one of the first issues I had researched extensively and written up at work, and what do you know, most of what I had written was included in the brief. To be formally submitted as an argument, on behalf of the U.S. Government, in federal court. So, I thought that was pretty cool. Makes me feel like a) if nothing else, I don't suck at this whole "law" thing and b) my writing might actually be halfway decent (which was nice, considering the piece-o-crap my final brief project in school was, and the subsequent (and deserved) shellacking it received from my professor). So, at least I am doing something right.

That's all for this evening. I was thinking of going into some politics/philosophy I had been mulling over the last week, when I wasn't working on the brief. Except that it is again late at night, and I had hoped to get to bed earlier this evening. Goddamn it.

Until next time. Hopefully now that things have calmed down and aren't as pressing, I can *actually* do this blog on a more regular basis. For those of you reading, thank you for your patience. Have a good night.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

One Week in New York City

So, unintended hiatus from blogging for almost a week, thanks in part to my residence building deciding to re-work the wireless connections, thereby rendering me internet-less for about three days. And then the boyfriend came and visited me over the weekend; so between all of that, I haven't had much time to just sit down and blog.

Despite my initial reservations about NYC (namely, it being dirty), I am coming to actually really like NYC-- it is basically everything I want in a city: there is always something going on, somewhere to go, something to do. If you haven't noticed, a big theme in my life is, "I don't want to be bored," and it is very hard to be bored in this city. Granted, I spend the majority of my day working during the week, but after hours and on the weekends, I really have no reason to stay inside and do nothing.

So far, I have been to Union Square and in and around Times Square, plus Central Park and Roosevelt Island. I like that New York has a lot of mini-parks and squares where one can sit for a while and just chill/people watch/hide from the heat. The first few days I was in the city were nasty-- hot and unbearably humid. Being able to sit in the shade at one of these places was a lifesaver. But, nothing beats Central Park. The last time I was (very briefly) in New York, I saw the Park from kind of a distance, and my memory of that view is hazy at best. While the boyfriend was in town, I was actually finally able to get there. And it was super cool! I had always known it was big and rather wild (in terms of just kind of letting things grow), but had no idea how pretty it was. Very lush and green-- quite the contrast from the rest of New York. And not kept up in the way that gardens and parks are generally kept in, say, France: while there is generally an organized scheme, and bits where there is grass and footpaths, a lot of the wildlife is left to just be, and grow. It does really give you the illusion of being in some kind of wilderness or countryside-type place. You will see lots of different animals (particularly birds) just chilling. There are old stone bridges that go over waterways and ponds. And yet at the same time, the park contains a zoo (which we sadly couldn't find), a mini-theme park for kids and, at least while we were there, a stage which was playing a Gavin DeGraw concert. It is quite the interesting mix of just rote nature, and planned human presence. We were only there briefly, as the sun was going down, so I will definitely have to make it back there to go to the zoo/ride the rides/take one of those old-school carriage rides through the park. My boyfriend told me that they do Shakespeare in the Park during the summer, and best yet, it is free (one of the few things in this town that are, apparently). Should definitely look into that. I also apparently got some of the grant money for the summer, so I am not a po' as I thought I was. Which is nice. Because thanks to buying set-up supplies, and a MetroCard, and doing get-to-know you social things, I probably dropped... lots of money this week already. A little piece of my Credit Card dies every time I swipe it here.

Times Square was...Times Square. I had been there before, that one time I came out here, and that is where I spent most of that day, so I remembered it pretty well. Although I had not been there yet on this trip. It is pretty much what you have seen on TV, in movies, etc. One thing I didn't remember (although I am sure it was there) from the last time, was all these random people just dressed up as random characters, for photo ops for money. I don't know what to say about that, other than it is random. I have seen people like all painted one color and doing street dances for cash before, but this is literally people who just go out and buy a Spongebob costume or something and dress up and mill around Times Square. I wonder how much money these guys make. The thing that really was weird to me about Times Square, was that while I was in one of the stores, the sun had set and it was dark out, but looking out to the people on the street, it was so light that I couldn't tell. Because of all the crazy lights in Times Square, it was so bright that it literally seemed like it was still day, even though it was 9:30 at night. I have never seen anything like that before, pretty much ever.

We also went to Roosevelt Island to go to this party hosted by a friend of my boyfriend. First, I didn't even know this Roosevelt Island existed. It is kind of strange; it is like literally an island of basically "urban" suburbia (apartment buildings and condos, but not high-denisty or hi-rises) surrounded by New York. First, it is an amazing view of the NY skyline. And it is very quite and like, way cleaner than Manhattan. The island literally has one street. Apparently it was all built up as a planned community, and it definitely looks like it: all the buildings, whether stores, condos, apartments or like, the local school, all are built in buildings that are very nice, but clearly built using the same plan. They all look very similar, and are all kind of related or attached to each other in some way. The only exception is this one church that, by the looks of it, is about 100 years old. The annoying thing about the island, is that it only has one subway stop serviced by one subway line, which thanks to construction on that line, made getting to the island ridiculous (we had to go halfway into Queens so we could get on the line going back in to Manhattan, then get off at Roosevelt island. I think we ended up going like a mile or two more East than we would otherwise had to have gone. Luckily, we did not have to actually leave the station while we were in Queens...). Otherwise, it was very pleasant, and I could see why people who like the city, but want to get away from its craziness, would choose to live there. So, never a dull moment. Which, honestly, is how I prefer things.

The coolest thing about New York, though, is the fact that you can just meander around, and randomly walk into something happening. My boyfriend and I had no idea that a Gavin DeGraw concert was happening in Central Park; we just happened to wander into it. And when we were walking around Rockefellar Center to get to Central Park, we randomly found a cool street fair, that had handmade wares and art and stuff being sold (the boyfriend even got me a cool retro pocket-watch type necklace by haggling with this lady, something I am not very good at. Haggling always feel so awkward to me. Like isn't the price of something like, what it says it is? I thought in America you could only haggle for like, cars and houses). Chicago even really doesn't operate like this; it does so more in the summer, but even still it is usually more formal things like a Taste of Chicago or the Blues Festival. I have yet to wander upon a random street fair (as opposed to a farmers market, which do randomly happen in Chicago as well as NYC). I love how here, you must expect the unexpected.

Anyway, I started my job on Tuesday, as it was Memorial Day on Monday and thus a government holiday. I have to say, for all my grousing about law school, at least so far I actually quite like it. Because unlike school, it doesn't have the daily monotony of class-homework-bed, and with a few minor exceptions, it functions like a job: when I go home at 5:30 every night, I am basically home, and don't have to think about work until the next day. Obviously this is not always true, as sometimes the lawyers stay late to prep for trial, but it is not the same as school, where even when you are home, you work has just begun. My typical day will be spending a few hours doing research, then going to observe a trial, then going to something like a witness prep. I really appreciate that the internship people have tried to organize it so that the interns aren't just doing research gophering, but actually get to see and participate in the many different parts of criminal litigation. On Friday, I got to go to a sentencing hearing. And by go to, I don't mean just sit in the public audience section. One of the attorneys I have been assigned was litigating a sentencing hearing for a guy who had convicted a couple months ago. As her intern, I got to go with her and actually sit at the prosecution table. My name was read and recorded as being in attendance and everything. Obviously, as I am not a lawyer, my role was watching and observing, but still... it was pretty sick. I think if I ultimately stick with it (which is seeming more likely, as none of the jobs I applied to have come through, and I am actually enjoying the work I do. It is such a shame that one cannot apprentice for being a lawyer any more, and that one has to be in school. I think my problems are more to do with the school part, not the actual lawyering part. It is so much more satisfying to do work that you know actually means something in the real world, and isn't just being submitted for a grade) I will definitely try to go into something in the criminal vein. I is just so...fascinating, particularly since it is so much of what you see on TV or something, now actually being played out in reality.

Anyway, that is probably enough for tonight. I do have work tomorrow. So I am going to read some Vanity Fair then hit the sack. The one thing New York hasn't been good for (aside from my wallet), is my iconoclasm. With all the fabulous things to buy, plus my discovery of Manhattan magazine, I am again falling into, "money is awesome!" mentality. Because it is. I love buying things, and so many cool, awesome, expensive things to buy. And I hate being a poor student. Seriously. I like doing my own thing, I like having fun, and I like doing things, and I like not being boring, but doing all of that costs money! Particularly after reading Manhattan, I was like, "hmmm maybe I should consider selling my soul for a few years doing transactional law for obscene amounts of money..." And then I pinched myself until the notion went away. Still, there is something to be said for not totally negating or writing off the benefits of trying to find a financially stable and lucrative job. Wouldn't it be nice if I could find a financially lucrative job that wasn't boring AND allowed me free time? Unfortunately, criminal work is usually paid for by the government, so I won't be raking in the dough any time soon. But at least it is really interesting; I won't be bored. That's got to count for something.

Actually, this all kind of reminds me of one of my favorite quotes ever, taken from The Sound of Music (even though I kind of hate that musical): "I like rich people. I like the way they live. I like the way I live when I am with them."

Monday, May 28, 2012

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams are Made

New York City. The Big Apple. That place I used to see in a lot of movies and TV shows. And now, I am here. For the next two months. This should be interesting.

I got in to the Big Apple at 6:30 AM local time, after a wonderful night flight/red eye out of SFO. My theory was, "Oh I will take the Red Eye, get like 5.5 hours of sleep, and be generally good to go." Except that I had been staying up kind of late the previous two nights, and was therefore not entirely sleepy at 10:30PM Pacific Time, when the flight took off. And then, some ASSHOLE on the plane was listening to their iPod so goddamn loud that I could hear their music through their m-f-ing headphones. I couldn't figure out who it was, or I would have bitched them the hell out right then and there. Something you should know about me: When I am tired, and want to be sleeping, and someone or something is preventing this from happening for a stupid reason, it is kind of an exercise in Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Kristin. AKA, I turn into a huge bitch. Sorry. Needless to say, I got about an hour of sleep. Maybe. At some point, it became pointless to try to sleep, so I watched 30 Rock on the plane instead. I had never seen 30 Rock before. I don't get why everyone likes it; Alec Baldwin was good, but the episode I saw was kind of stupid and not very funny. Like, it seemed like it was trying too hard to be funny, or something, and that made it not funny.

Anyway, I am currently residing on Lafayette Street, near Canal Street. My residence is at this odd juncture between Chinatown and SoHo, so it is this weird mix of super tacky/slightly sketchy/very dirty and like, at least on West Broadway, super upscale boutiques and art galleries carrying goods I probably will never be able to afford. On the plus side, I found an awesome burger joint on LaGuardia Place, a bit south of Washington Square. I can see it becoming a hangout of sorts. Plus, at least tonight, the waitstaff was super cute. And I couldn't tell if my waiter was flirting with me, or just doing good, attentive service. He fist-pumped me. Maybe it's a New York thing. I tipped him well, at least. And West Broadway is cool because there are artists on the street, selling their canvases right then and there. Some of them are quite good. Which would be awesome, if I actually had any disposable income to spend. Canal Street itself is an experience: it is basically a bunch of tourist shops selling "I Heart NY" stuff (I must admit, I did buy an "I Heart NY" keychain, so I could keep my room keys together) and a bunch of mostly Nigerian and Chinese people selling knockoff pretty much everything. If you are in need of a fake Louis Vuitton, let me know. Except not, as I will be a pseudo-officer of the court this summer (I will be interning in an office that prosecutes federal crimes), so I probably shouldn't be supporting or encouraging blatant patent infringement.

My first impression of New York was one of shock, and a little bit of disgust. Perhaps I have been spoiled by San Fran and Chicago (which, for all its other issues, is a very clean city), but New York is super dirty. Like, trash everywhere on the street, bags of trash just piled on street corners, and graffiti everywhere, particularly on those metal grate things they pull down after stores close. Some places are worse than others; Canal Street is absolutely gross in this regard, but West Broadway, Washington Square weren't so bad. And the subway. Omg. After 5 minutes in the station, I felt like I needed to shower right then and there. I try to avoid stepping in any liquid-looking things, as one can't tell if it is water or...something else. And this dirty feeling probably wasn't helped by the fact that it was like 90 degrees out today, and about 99% humidity, so I was permanently covered with a thin layer of my own dampness. Ew. But, after about a day, I got over my pristine-ness and the sometimes-grimeyness of New York doesn't bother me as much. And therefore, the city is starting to grow on me. I suppose in reality, it probably isn't much dirtier than Paris. The streets have a bit more litter on them, but the subways are about the same.

The interesting thing about New York, from my limited observations anyway, is it seems like people here are just generally more interesting, or at least have more interesting things going on compared to other places I have been. Perhaps my perspective is skewed by numerous TV shows and the fact that I arrived over a holiday weekend, but it seems like people here are always up to something, or always doing something, always seem to be engaged or going somewhere. There is a constant sense of busy and stuff happening. Even on Sunday nights. And yes, there is a bit more of an "edge" to people here. One of the first things I saw when I got to New York yesterday, was some guy dragging a cart just shove a lady out of his way because she was in his way. Nice. But, that kind of behavior has actually been in the minority. For the most part, people have either been nonchalant or actually nice. I think part of it might be positive reaction to my being polite and generally thoughtful; people seem to very positively react to my saying "please" and "thank you," moreso than in other places I have been. Maybe they aren't expecting it. Like, today I had to go to Nordstrom Rack because I noticed yesterday that a skirt my mom had bought me in December (I hadn't had an opportunity to wear it or look at it much, as it is a business skirt) still had the stupid security tag on it. I had called the Nordstrom info number, and was able to get the purchase info on the skirt to bring to the store, so I wouldn't be accused of stealing. Except that the lady at the counter didn't even question my story, and seemed surprised/appreciative that I had gone through the due diligence.

So, tomorrow starts my job. Today I did a "dry-run" to Brooklyn Heights, where I will be working, so I don't have to spent time tomorrow morning trying to find my way around as I get to work. Equals more sleep for me! The plaza with all of the state and federal buildings is pleasant; it has its own little park thing, and a lot of greenery. And it is not very hard to get too, thankfully. I did not have to make any transfers or anything. Very easy. I am so not looking forward to the subway at rush hour, during the hot an humid summer. I experienced hot, crowded, nasty subway commuting while I was studying in Paris, and I imagine it will be basically the same here, too. Ew. And I should probably bring an umbrella, because it might thunderstorm. I guess quick weather changes/surprise rain shouldn't really be a surprise to me as I have lived in the greater Ghicago area for five years, and it pretty much does the same thing. Still, one thing I have always appreciated about California, is the fact that for 5-6 months, it will pretty much reliably not rain, and we never really get humidity.

That's about it for today. Even though I have been to New York once before, it was only for a day and a half, and basically all confined to Times Square. It was such a whirlwind experience that it kind of exists as a blur in my memory, so I really feel like I am really experiencing this city for the first time. We shall see what tomorrow brings, and what this whole job thing is going to be about. Goals for tomorrow: find out where I can legally buy and register pocket mace (because as a solo lady in NYC, who will probably have to walk places after dark, if someone tries to mess with me, I want to be able to temporarily blind them. Because that is just the kind of gal I am.) and find out when, how, and how much my grant money will be getting to me, because living in New York City = burning money like its kindling (seriously, they weren't kidding about NYC prices).

Thursday, May 24, 2012

SMASH

Another day, still uploading music to my mom's iTunes. Didn't know this was going to be such an epic project. And that's just the upload. Then there is the condensation of file memory so it can fit on her iPhone, then there is getting the album art, then there is making sure everything is set up and labeled right. Oy. No wonder I have been up until the wee hours several nights now. I didn't think it was possible, but she has more music than I do.

So, in my hours of fun around the computer, I have started watching online episodes of TV shows. Like, what else am I going to do? The first show I started watching was Duck Dynasty. And all I have to say is, wow. You know that old TV show, The Beverly Hillbillies? This is like a real-life version of that. Basically, it is a reality TV show about self-described rednecks living in Louisiana, who happen to be loaded. Because they made a crapton of money...manufacturing duck call whistles for hunting...yeah. Anyway, it is sort of nouveau riche taken to the extremes. A very awkward-but-hilarious blend of having a lot of money and doing the things people do when they have a lot of money (like buy wineries, except these guys don't know how to make wine or really anything about it), and your stereotypical "redneck" behavior (like trying to get fresh honey from a wild beehive. An alligator in the backyard also made an appearance). I can't really describe it as words don't do it justice; it is hilarious, but you need to watch the show to really "get" it. Also,for guys who look not-so-far removed from your average mountain men, the two brothers who run the company, Duck Commander, have like, hot wives. I guess that is what being a CEO of a successful company will do for you.

The other show that I have gotten into while doing this project, is SMASH (I am only on episode 11, so don't say what happens). I have to say, I really like it. But maybe that is just because I find it relatable. For those of you not familiar with the show, it is basically about people trying to put together a show and get it produced on Broadway. Once upon a time -- aka, high school -- I did theatre. And I hang out around a lot of theatre people, or theater groupies. So I find it to be a fairly accurate reflection of what little time I spent in and around the "scene." Ah, theater. What is the old saying? "You can take people out of high school, but you can't take high school out of people?" But, I think I am being too harsh on the theatre world. I think the big joke on all of us is, life is really high school. Whether it is backstage drama, or office politics, or whatever; we thought we graduated into a more sane, mature world. But no. Dun dun dun! Maybe that is why people end up settling down, starting families, etc.: they are trying to escape the madness. Of course, as we all know, family comes with its own share of drama. So anyway, here is my reaction to the show so far (WARNING! Some spoilers below):

1. I like Karen's character alright, she's nice enough, but I think she is really kind of flat, and remains naive. Like, I am on episode 11, and of all the characters, I think she has developed the least. She kind of just goes around in a newbie daze, and things (usually positive) just kind of...happen to her. Maybe it is because she is nice. But, it just seems a little flat. She isn't the character I end up rooting for, in the end, because you don't believe she really has anything at stake.

2. I like Ivy's character. At first you really don't, because she is a kniving bitch. But then you see why. And, at least I feel bad for her, because she kind of has a point. She's been striving and struggling in Broadway for years, and is way more "Marilyn"-esque than Karen, and I think is just as talented. But she kind of gets the shaft everywhere. So I understand and appreciate why she would play hardball. Of course, I also think Miranda Priestly (of The Devil Wears Prada fame) is a good roll model for the business world (as long as you can leave that persona at the door when you go home at night). But, I don't appreciate the direction the writers are going in. Like, turning her into Marilyn/having her life parallel Marilyn Monroe's, with the love-life drama, the pills, the crazy mother, etc. I think it feels kind of gimmicky. But what do I know?

3. Debra Messing's character: SELF CONTROL, DEBRA MESSING. HAVE SOME. Although I can't really blame her. She tried for like 3 or 4 episodes to get her old flame (with whom she had had an affair, it is revealed, five years previous to the world of this show)to back the F off, but he wouldn't take a hint, and actively pushed himself on her to reignite the old flame, even though she was very clear at the beginning that it was a bad idea and did not want to go there. By episode 11, the cat is out of the bag, and her home life and family life is in shambles, while the flame's is just fine. And he kind of just shrugs it off as, "Oh it was a mistake, I love my family, blah blah." Asshole. But it seems like everyone in the show, in some way, is attracted to someone they cannot have, often while in a relationship with someone else. In fact, some iteration of that exists for every main character. Maybe that is what the show is about, in the end: wanting what you can't have-- whether it is fame, a part, a lover. Perhaps that is ultimately the human condition. And, for the record, it sucks.

4. Uma Thurmond (aka in the show as Rebecca Duvall) as Marilyn? Really? But again, maybe that is the point. Although at the end of episode 11, she kind of has a breakthrough and stops sucking as much (once everyone gets over their star-struck, "yes-men" ways). Will be interesting to see what happens.

Also, as a side note: I wonder if my life in New York (for the next 10 weeks starting Sunday) will be this eventful and interesting? Probably not, as we have already established that my life is boring.

Speaking of wanting what you can't have, I heard from that job with which I interviewed. No go. Can't really say I am surprised. I think I may have come off as directionless once I explained why I was going to leave law school, and what I wanted to do in life. Which I guess is a fair assessment, since I am feeling rather directionless. Maybe this is another sign, as I have applied to probably 30 jobs, only got one interview, and didn't get the job. Maybe I should stop looking for signs. So, it looks as if my parents are going to get their wish by proxy, as I am not going to leave law school to work at McDonald's. I was only going to leave if I got an actual, responsible job. Incidentally, Mom took me shopping yesterday and I got several hundred dollars worth of clothes. I think it was a pretty explicit enticement for me to not leave law school. But again, as per above, she probably didn't need to do that. I do appreciate having new clothes, anyway. Although getting all of this to NY and then back to Chicago will be interesting.

That's all, folks. Back to CD uploading.

PS: I know I am late to the party on this (I am always late to the party on these things), but ADELE's album 21 is really good. I downloaded the other night, and cannot stop listening to it. Finally, someone who can sing without auto-tune!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Non serviam

Well, another exciting day at my parents' home in California. And by exciting day, I mean a day of uploading my mom's CDs to iTunes on her new iMac, and setting up the new printer, and just generally performing various IT-related tasks. I fear this is going to become a regular occurrence, even when I am not around, since my dad-- the usual household IT person-- doesn't know anything about Macs. Alas.

I alluded to this in an earlier blog post, but its reality seems to become particularly underscored whenever I am home: I *really* don't like being told what to do. And I pretty much try to order my life around figuring out ways to just "do my thing." Lately, for a variety of reasons, I have had cause to notice that everywhere one goes, it seems like someone-- who may or may not have the authority to do so-- is trying to tell everyone else what to do, how to think, how to act. Everything from at the personal level with my parents, to the macro level of, now legislatures want to start imposing a "fat" tax on "unhealthy" food. Seriously? Are you kidding me? It seems all one ever runs into are opinions-- as the saying goes, like assholes, everyone has one. But more than just opinions. People want to make their opinions, their own conception of "right and "wrong," laws-- as if they know others better than those people know themselves, and must make everyone follow what they think is right. That they know how to and must "save" people from themselves. A: it's not anyone else's job, responsibility, or really, ability, to save anyone else from themselves. I call bullshit. If someone needs saving, it needs to come from within, ultimately. And the essence of freedom, is the ability to make choices-- both bad and good-- and live with the consequences. Take away choice, even if just "bad" choices, and you take away freedom. I don't know-- maybe people don't value individualism or freedom anymore; it does seem like we are living in a more "collectivist" mindset society (which is also bullshit). But I value freedom, I value my ability to live and let live. I can't even think about it too much, because then I just get really pissed off. I start feeling more and more like a fricking hamster in a cage, with nothing but the wheel going round and round, unable to escape from unending meddling, unwanted "advice." Sometimes, I just want to scream. It just ain't living. And yet there is no escape, save for maybe getting on a plane to Vanuatu. Perhaps I am one of the last bastions of thought that puts a premium on the individual over the collective, perhaps I am part of a dying breed. Perhaps no one will agree with me. But seriously, where can anyone go anymore to truly be free?

I guess my whole life philosophy can be summed up in two words: non serviam. For those of you not familiar with Latin and/or Milton, its basic translation is "I will not serve." Which incidentally basically sums up why I don't follow any religion. But that is a very hard philosophy to follow in this day and age. Maybe it always was. Maybe for all the Enlightenment and post-Enlightenment talk about freedom, rights, and the individual-- maybe it really was all pipe dreams, maybe it really was a type of lie, or at least wishful thinking. Maybe true freedom never existed, and can never exist. Well, now I am starting to sound like Eugene O'Neill. Oh well. At any rate, I still want "non serviam" as an epitaph (and no, again this is not a veiled threat. I am just one of those weird people who thinks about things like this).

Or maybe I am just broody because in a lot of ways, I am not content with where I am right now, in life. I was flipping through a catalogue today called Great Courses, which is literally a catalogue of a term's worth of college lectures on a myriad of different subjects. Being the geek I am, I found like, 5 courses at least that I would want to order, just because they sounded interesting. I could learn cools things just for the joy of learning, without having to worry about tests or grades or any of that bullshit. Learning for the sake of knowing more, learning for the sake of curiosity, not as the means to some calculated career end. And then it hit me: yes, I really should have gone into academia. Not as a professor, but as a researcher, or a curator, or something involved in just learning, of gathering and keeping information. At heart, I am a bookish nerd. I like to study things, and I like to do it just to do it, and I am tired of it all being compromised by the other considerations of grades, class rank, etc.

In other life news, I got my summer job assignment. Sounds like it should be interesting; I got my first choice of division, and one can do worse than chilling in NYC for the summer. But what happens after? Still no more interviews, no job offers. Am beginning to lose hope. I really don't know what I want or need any more. I am very envious of those people who always knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. I was never one of them, I don't think. I also know now why I like history so much: my own life bores me to tears, I like learning about people who seemed to have interesting lives (it's why we know about them now), or thinking about societies long ago and far away, that seemed much more interesting than the one in which I now currently live.

I guess this post is a little depressing tonight, so I will end it. I guess I am in a broody, philosophical mood tonight. One of the "Great Courses" I wanted to take was on Existentialism, lol. I think being broody is an occupational hazard of being introspective, which I have always been.

As a parting shot, however, I came across this quote from Emily Dickinson. Although not at all really related to tonight's subject matter, it struck me as very personally relatable. So I thought I would share it with you all. Enjoy, and have a good night.

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;

One need not be a house;

The brain has corridors surpassing

Material place

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Nights in White Satin

Unintended hiatus from blogging for the last few days, but honestly, not much has happened of note.

I did go hiking with my friend and her mom, which was awesome. It was on this private farm property up in Woodside, and for the art history geek in me, it was pretty sweet. The people who owned the many acres of farmage had statutes and other works of sculpture lining all of the hiking trails. It was super cool, and I learned yet another important life lesson: don't miss opportunities to experience life, to "work." My friend and I then went to see the new Johnny Depp movie, Dark Shadows. It was alright; it had all the ingredients to be a good movie (intriguing premise, source material, good actors, comedy potential, good production value), but suffered from a weak script. It seemed like the writers were suffering from trying to cram four years of the original show's plots and sub-plots into 90 minutes. This lead to a lack of character development outside of Johnny Depp's character, and none of the interpersonal relationships really went anywhere. Would have been better if they simplified it down to one or two central plots. The first half of the movie was the best, because it had all of the gags, riffing on some guy from the 1790s suddenly being plopped into the 1970s... Incidentally, ever since I watched that movie, I can't stop listening to 60s and 70s era music. Like, Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues in particular. Which I never really liked before. I don't know; movies with flawed/tortured yet somehow endearing male leads have weird effects on me.

In other news, my parents got home on Sunday. Everything on that front has been fine; no inherent awkwardness over the whole boyfriend-living-with-me thing. Incidentally, albeit with some parental coaxing, a bit of my old self (read: competitive) came out, and for some insane reason I decided to try to finish the writing competition, even without the damn book that I needed. Initially I had given up, because I knew that to try to do the write-on without all the needed material would be insane. If I am honest with myself, I think I did it because if Hell freezes over and I actually get on one of the journals, I will have hardcore bragging rights of, "I did this in 1.5 days, while y'all did it in 6." Needless to say, it was a cluster. I went down to my dad's office to work on it (because we don't have functional scanners at my parents' house, a clutch element of the competition). We didn't leave there until almost 3AM, and I was working right up until 6:55AM on Tuesday, 5 minutes before it was due. During the day, there was some hardcore scrambling to find this stupid Texas Law Review Manual of Style. By scrambling, I mean there was some Kristin-running-around-her-parents'-old-law-school to try to find this book, photocopying 2/3 of the 19th edition of the Bluebook because I couldn't check it out of the law library (that was the other good news-- I figured out that I had also forgotten my Bluebook in Chicago. Whomp.), working out of an 18th edition Bluebook (one edition older than the current one) borrowed from one of the associates at my dad's firm. Never did find it, said Screw It, and went on without it. I am pretty sure the editing portion of my submission is crap. But, I do think I managed to eek out a decent case note portion, so we shall see. I think my doing this was a latent variation on something I had always wanted to do: namely, in high school I considered trying to apply to Harvard. I had no real emotional investment in it; at the time, an Ivy League school was not what I wanted out of undergrad. But I was always curious about whether or not I could get in. Didn't ever apply to find out. This, I think, was kind of like that. But, if I do get a journal membership offer, apparently it will generally carry over if I leave school and then decide to come back. So, that's something.

Other than that, nothing new to report. Still no job offers, still no new interviews. I am starting to lose hope. I would really like the job I interviewed for last week, but it is starting to look like that won't happen. Oy. I just would really like some time to not be a student, and to start making my own money, and live like a real young adult, not one that is still dependent on her parents and the government. I would also like to start paying down my student loans because, let's face it, debt sucks. I can't tell you how much I want to start being my own person, and shaping my own life, and I cannot do that while I am a student-- at least, while I am a student who has never been anything else. But, it looks as if fate has other plans. I don't know what else to do. The kicker is, I really do think I am actually qualified for the jobs to which I have applied; I don't know what the problem is.

So, that was this week. Nothing exciting, really. My parents were out again this evening, so I took the opportunity to go to dinner on my own and have some "me" time. And by "me" time, I mean drive around for a while. Every time I need to think-- or to remember-- if I have the chance, I get in my car and turn up the tunage and drive for a while. I have a special route that I go on-- that will remain secret to me-- always the same route. So anyway, I was on this route tonight, and was just thinking. I wish I were more like I was in high school. I realize that back then, I was just generally a more chill and, I think, nicer person. Since college, I just get a lot more pissed off at things, at people, just in general. Perhaps it is because college exposes you to more of the world, and much of what I see... just disappoints me, more than anything. I remember when I was 16, 17, 18, I would move heaven and earth to do right by people, to be there. Now, I just don't have a lot of that feeling left. And I feel it, I feel what is lacking by not having that in me anymore. But, I just can't muster it. Who knows what happened; perhaps what Alyson Sheedy said in The Breakfast Club is right: "When you grow up, your heart dies." But then, the rest of that exchange is equally true for me: "Who cares?" "I care."

Of course, all of this (pensive, brooding thinking; endless Nights in White Satin listening) could be the result of the fact that, for a variety of reasons, being back home in California can mess with my head.