SMASH

Another day, still uploading music to my mom's iTunes. Didn't know this was going to be such an epic project. And that's just the upload. Then there is the condensation of file memory so it can fit on her iPhone, then there is getting the album art, then there is making sure everything is set up and labeled right. Oy. No wonder I have been up until the wee hours several nights now. I didn't think it was possible, but she has more music than I do.

So, in my hours of fun around the computer, I have started watching online episodes of TV shows. Like, what else am I going to do? The first show I started watching was Duck Dynasty. And all I have to say is, wow. You know that old TV show, The Beverly Hillbillies? This is like a real-life version of that. Basically, it is a reality TV show about self-described rednecks living in Louisiana, who happen to be loaded. Because they made a crapton of money...manufacturing duck call whistles for hunting...yeah. Anyway, it is sort of nouveau riche taken to the extremes. A very awkward-but-hilarious blend of having a lot of money and doing the things people do when they have a lot of money (like buy wineries, except these guys don't know how to make wine or really anything about it), and your stereotypical "redneck" behavior (like trying to get fresh honey from a wild beehive. An alligator in the backyard also made an appearance). I can't really describe it as words don't do it justice; it is hilarious, but you need to watch the show to really "get" it. Also,for guys who look not-so-far removed from your average mountain men, the two brothers who run the company, Duck Commander, have like, hot wives. I guess that is what being a CEO of a successful company will do for you.

The other show that I have gotten into while doing this project, is SMASH (I am only on episode 11, so don't say what happens). I have to say, I really like it. But maybe that is just because I find it relatable. For those of you not familiar with the show, it is basically about people trying to put together a show and get it produced on Broadway. Once upon a time -- aka, high school -- I did theatre. And I hang out around a lot of theatre people, or theater groupies. So I find it to be a fairly accurate reflection of what little time I spent in and around the "scene." Ah, theater. What is the old saying? "You can take people out of high school, but you can't take high school out of people?" But, I think I am being too harsh on the theatre world. I think the big joke on all of us is, life is really high school. Whether it is backstage drama, or office politics, or whatever; we thought we graduated into a more sane, mature world. But no. Dun dun dun! Maybe that is why people end up settling down, starting families, etc.: they are trying to escape the madness. Of course, as we all know, family comes with its own share of drama. So anyway, here is my reaction to the show so far (WARNING! Some spoilers below):

1. I like Karen's character alright, she's nice enough, but I think she is really kind of flat, and remains naive. Like, I am on episode 11, and of all the characters, I think she has developed the least. She kind of just goes around in a newbie daze, and things (usually positive) just kind of...happen to her. Maybe it is because she is nice. But, it just seems a little flat. She isn't the character I end up rooting for, in the end, because you don't believe she really has anything at stake.

2. I like Ivy's character. At first you really don't, because she is a kniving bitch. But then you see why. And, at least I feel bad for her, because she kind of has a point. She's been striving and struggling in Broadway for years, and is way more "Marilyn"-esque than Karen, and I think is just as talented. But she kind of gets the shaft everywhere. So I understand and appreciate why she would play hardball. Of course, I also think Miranda Priestly (of The Devil Wears Prada fame) is a good roll model for the business world (as long as you can leave that persona at the door when you go home at night). But, I don't appreciate the direction the writers are going in. Like, turning her into Marilyn/having her life parallel Marilyn Monroe's, with the love-life drama, the pills, the crazy mother, etc. I think it feels kind of gimmicky. But what do I know?

3. Debra Messing's character: SELF CONTROL, DEBRA MESSING. HAVE SOME. Although I can't really blame her. She tried for like 3 or 4 episodes to get her old flame (with whom she had had an affair, it is revealed, five years previous to the world of this show)to back the F off, but he wouldn't take a hint, and actively pushed himself on her to reignite the old flame, even though she was very clear at the beginning that it was a bad idea and did not want to go there. By episode 11, the cat is out of the bag, and her home life and family life is in shambles, while the flame's is just fine. And he kind of just shrugs it off as, "Oh it was a mistake, I love my family, blah blah." Asshole. But it seems like everyone in the show, in some way, is attracted to someone they cannot have, often while in a relationship with someone else. In fact, some iteration of that exists for every main character. Maybe that is what the show is about, in the end: wanting what you can't have-- whether it is fame, a part, a lover. Perhaps that is ultimately the human condition. And, for the record, it sucks.

4. Uma Thurmond (aka in the show as Rebecca Duvall) as Marilyn? Really? But again, maybe that is the point. Although at the end of episode 11, she kind of has a breakthrough and stops sucking as much (once everyone gets over their star-struck, "yes-men" ways). Will be interesting to see what happens.

Also, as a side note: I wonder if my life in New York (for the next 10 weeks starting Sunday) will be this eventful and interesting? Probably not, as we have already established that my life is boring.

Speaking of wanting what you can't have, I heard from that job with which I interviewed. No go. Can't really say I am surprised. I think I may have come off as directionless once I explained why I was going to leave law school, and what I wanted to do in life. Which I guess is a fair assessment, since I am feeling rather directionless. Maybe this is another sign, as I have applied to probably 30 jobs, only got one interview, and didn't get the job. Maybe I should stop looking for signs. So, it looks as if my parents are going to get their wish by proxy, as I am not going to leave law school to work at McDonald's. I was only going to leave if I got an actual, responsible job. Incidentally, Mom took me shopping yesterday and I got several hundred dollars worth of clothes. I think it was a pretty explicit enticement for me to not leave law school. But again, as per above, she probably didn't need to do that. I do appreciate having new clothes, anyway. Although getting all of this to NY and then back to Chicago will be interesting.

That's all, folks. Back to CD uploading.

PS: I know I am late to the party on this (I am always late to the party on these things), but ADELE's album 21 is really good. I downloaded the other night, and cannot stop listening to it. Finally, someone who can sing without auto-tune!

I Got a Bite! Aka, an Interview

Haven't written for a few days... a few hectic days... but I do have life updates!

First, I am free!! Well, sort of. I finished my last final on Monday, so I can officially kiss 1L good bye (and good riddance!). Alas, I still have the writing competition, which will suck up the next four days of my life. I am also back in California at my parent's house for the next couple weeks. Since they are currently in Phoenix at some...thing... for my dad's firm, I have the house to myself. Which would be more exciting, if I were more exciting. Right now, it has been me hanging out with the dog, Coco, and starting writing competition. Par-tay.

Also on Monday, I got a call from one of the *many* jobs to which I have been applying. It is essentially a PR position with a well-known academic institution in the city, and would primarily involve me writing, editing and forwarding PR announcements, letters, etc. There apparently would also be some travel-around-the-country involved (which, as someone who likes to be on the move, I am A-OK with this).

The phone interview for the job was on Tuesday. I think it went well, although it is always hard to tell on phone interviews, because you can't "read" the other person's body language. It went on for a half hour, and I made the lady laugh a couple times. I guess that is a good sign? And of course, I had to talk about the whole I-have-been-in-law-school-for-a-year thing. I was kind of worried about that... how do you talk about that without being awkward/sounding like a cop-out/lazy person/not dedicated person/flake? But, I decided that the best way to address it, was to hit it head-on, and just be honest and frank. Hopefully it worked, and wasn't awkward. The thing about awkwardness, though, that I have figured out, is that it is what you make of it. If you are self-conscious, if you focus on how "awkward" a situation is or will be, it will be awkward. It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you go in with an attitude, of "Fuck it, I am here and this is happening," things actually tend to work out better. I compare situations where I have been self-concious, and situations where I...focus on other things... 9 time out of 10, the latter works out better.

At any rate, the job sounds like it would be interesting, fun, and definitely a much needed change of pace, while still allowing me to use and further develop skills I like to use (namely, writing, research, public speaking). And it pays pretty decently, too, which is always a plus. The lady interviewing me asked me what my "salary expectations" were for the positions. Salary expectations? Lady, I haven't had a real job except for working at summer camps and Toys R Us. Right now, as a student, I make negative income. ANY income would be a marked improvement. Not having to be on food stamps would be nice, beyond that anything else is a bonus. When she asked me to ballpark, I think I said something around 25K/year. It actually pays substantially more than that. Which is nice. I hope I get to the second round of interviews, because I think this would be a good opportunity for me. A good way for me to not be a student.

Which brings me to my next point. I saw my regular, California primary care doctor today, to ask her why she thinks my immune system has gone on an extended holiday. Her thoughts? Basically, she thinks my sleep disorder, while probably a disorder, was actually my body *needing* all that extra sleep to function. While most of the population does just dandy on 7-8 hours of sleep a night, some people need more. Like, perhaps my body does need 10 hours of sleep to function properly. Since I have been on the anti-sleepy drug, I have been feeling energized on the typical 7-8 hours, but she thinks that it might be masking my getting sleep deprived. And the no. one cause of immune system crashing, is not enough sleep. Awesome.

Well, that is all very well and good, and probably true. But unfortunately, the world isn't made for people who need ten hours of sleep a night. Particularly not law school, and particularly not the legal profession in general, where people tend to be over-worked and under a lot of stress. My doctor's opinion was, that to get through law school, I would just have to get more sleep at night, meaning that I would have to cut out most socializing, so that I could get all that work done early, go to bed, etc., etc. Which sucks. And if that is truly what I will need to do to maintain health but also not fall behind on my work, I don't know if I am prepared or willing to it. One works to live, not the other way around. And a lifestyle of class (or office hours)-homework-bed, would make me go nuts. The opinion of the doctor really started me thinking again, and is yet another reason to take some time and re-evaluate. Perhaps I am just going to have to admit defeat, admit to myself that I am not really a healthy person, and that to be in a high-pressure-cooker job, I will either have to give up my health, or my sanity. And I don't think I really want to do either. What is the point of success and security, if the quality of life sucks?

Life, man. Life.