I stumbled upon Lexi again today. Pretty much ever day after work, unless I am meeting up with someone, or stayed too late at work, I go straight from work to Washington Square, where I enjoy the cuisine provided to me courtesy of NYU and my meal plan. From there, unless the weather is crappy (rain), I walk the mile or so back to the dorm I am in. Streets in NYC run pretty much on a grid, North-South, and East-West. So, I know several different streets I can walk down will eventually get to my cross-street. I usually walk down this very nice street that gives me a scenic jaunt through SoHo, but even that gets boring when you do it every day. So a few weeks ago, I decided to mix it up a bit, and walk down a different street. On that afternoon, I ended up passing an adoption fair for doggies that was being held in front of a PetsMart. There was this very sweet dog in one of the pens, a little over a year old. Name was Lexi, and was black mix between a lab and a dachshund. Pretty much the most adorable thing, ever. And so sweet. I carefully reached my finger out in a knuckle (which is the correct way to approach a strange dog, btw), and she just started licking it gingerly. Poor thing was rescued from a shelter that was going to put her down because she had heartworm. But, this group rescued her and, through donations, have funded her medical care (this I learned through the volunteer at the time).
Well, today I walked down that same street again, and again ran into the adoption fair (I guess it is semi-regular; I have gone down that street at other times, but it hasn't always been there). And Lexi was again there, and again happily licked my finger when I stuck out my knuckle. I am happy to report (via the volunteer on duty) that Lexi's treatment has finished, and she is cured of the heartworm. Such a sweet dog. Apparently, someone is interested in her, so hopefully in the next day or so she will go to a good home. Which is the best possible outcome.
I am not going to lie, though, that my heart broke (and is still breaking) a little that I can't be the one to give her-- or any of the other absolutely sweet dogs that were out there-- a good home. I just think it is profoundly sad how many otherwise fine, gentle, sweet and perfectly loving dogs are in shelters or rescue groups-- or worse, are put down, because there is no home for them, through no fault of their own. Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I just signed a lease (more on that later) for an apartment that doesn't allow dogs (they do allow cats, but cats make my boyfriend stop breathing. Apparently, the dog-ban is relatively recent, too, like within the last 18 months, or so reviews of the building-- which were mostly positive-- seem to indicate). It would be hard because I travel around a lot because of school breaks and things, but I know that if I could find the right place, I could give a dog a good home. Even if it is a little small, an apartment's got to be better than a shelter. And I am such a better person when I am around dogs, and animals in general. Although I would say I am nice and loyal and friendly to those I like and are my friends, in general I am kind of a distant and intolerant person towards those I don't know. I think I do this as some kind of defense mechanism; in reality, I think I am naturally inclined to be sensitive and overly-empathetic. If I let all the crap that goes on in the world affect me, it would destroy me. So, I build walls. I'd just rather not deal with it. Apparently, when I was an infant, my pediatrician said that I was a "very good-natured" baby. Sadly I am afraid that did not last long. Or maybe it was that I was naturally good-natured and naive abut the world, willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, and then people, whether through what I witnessed myself, or heard about, in their behavior just kept disappointing me and my faith in them, to the point that I am completely jaded and have lost most faith in most of my fellow man. Whatever it is, I am guarded, somewhat of a grump, and can turn off my natural empathy or sympathy like one switches off a light, if needed.
But all of that goes away the moment I see an animal, particularly "pet" animals like cats, dogs, rabbits, etc. There is just something about them that is soothing and calming. Perhaps because, in their animal nature, they don't judge the way people do, or do the crap that people do. They have faith in their keepers and are willing to trust, which is hard to find anymore among my homo sapien brethren. And all the emotion I wall myself off from in the day-to-day, finds its way back again. I feel again, I become calmer and less stressed, and happier. I become more human around animals than I do around other people. So, I become a better person. I feel like I could only be helped by having an animal, a doggie. Perhaps it would help me become human again around my fellow people, and not just around the people I have deemed my friends, etc. And I could give a good home.
Unfortunately, it does not look like it is to be. Am not going to lie, was super sad about it, and even teared a bit on the way home (my inability to keep it together probably not helped by the fact that it was 8:00PM on a Friday after long day and week of work). But this is exactly what I mean: I become a much more feeling person.
Below is a picture of Lexi. The organization with which she is housed (hopefully not for much longer) is called Little Monsters, and it is based out of NYC. New Yorkers, if you are looking for a pet, please consider adopting. Their website is: www.lilmonsters.org. And if not from them, then from another rescuer organization. And just in general, if you would like a pet, please consider giving a good home to a rescue. They need us and, honestly, from what I can see of the world, we need them. And if you do have a pet, please have them fixed. It is just so sad the number of living animals that lose out on a chance to live because of irresponsible owners.
And yes, in other news, my boyfriend and I found an apartment for this fall/next year. It is located about 10 minutes north (by car) from the downtown area in Chicago. It is located literally next to a grocery store, and the 147 express bus to downtown. And, if Lake Shore Drive is screwed up, it is located three or four blocks from the Red Line. So my commute will be pretty easy and direct. And it is a much nicer, bigger place in a very nice pre-war hi-rise, for a lot less money (particularly since we will be splitting the rent). It's basically perfect, except for the fact that they don't allow dogs. We move in around the 20th of August. I imagine pictures will be up when I finally move everything in and decorate the place. If only they allowed dogs...
To somewhat remedy the situation of lack-of-animals in my life, I just signed up to be a volunteer at PAWS Chicago, a local rescue group, to help socialize and take care of the dogs during adoption fairs. I have to do community service for Northwestern Law anyway, and even if I didn't, I would still sign up for this. I think a lot of my freak-out about law school and life, was due to that fact that I spent all of last year doing school and nothing but school. I socialized casually and went out with people, sure. But all my structured activities were either: class, studying, or duties relating to organizations that I am part of at school. I think it will be healthy (mentally if not physically) to get away from all that in a structured way a few hours a week. Doing something else completely not related to that part of my life. Having worked at my job this summer, I like the work and find actually *practicing* law interesting. I am just not to thrilled with the school part (and not because of anything Northwestern does or doesn't do. All things considered, I think they are a school that tries to make law school suck as little as possible. I am just over school as a general concept. But you knew that, and why, already from other posts). So I think it will help to find something to take me away from it every week for a while.
So, that's my post today. As of yet have no plans for the weekend.
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